I had known the family for some time and had often invited the mother over for tea or coffee. One day she came, quite unannounced, tears in her eyes - telling me about her 20 year old daughter who was pregnant. The family was getting a lot of pressure to send their daughter away, but this mom just couldn't do that and was desperate for an alternative.

Over the months of J's pregnancy I worked to prepare her not only for childbirth but also for being a mom. We talked about diaper changing and breastfeeding and anything else that might be a help to her.

When her due date arrived the doctor announced that she should be induced the next day. J. was agreeable and the next afternoon she went in to the hospital. They gave her a drug called Cytotec - inserted into the cervix to ripen (soften) it and cause contractions too. I came in the evening and stayed until about 11pm. J. hated the feeling of the Cytotec and swore that if it fell out she wasn't going to let them put it back in because it hurt so bad putting it in the first time.

We talked as we waited and J. showed me some of her baby clothing - she laid it out on her belly first pants, then top, then hat!!! What a cute outfit it made!

I went home for a few hours of sleep and came back to the hospital at 5am. J. was in heavy labor that had just started suddenly - she had lost the Cytotec insert during the night and refused to have it put back.

When I arrived J. was not doing well at all, she had been up all night and the contractions were very strong. Her mother was scared by the intensity and left as soon as I got there. By 6am J.'s contractions were so strong that the baby was in distress every time that she moved. She had to be in bed and on her side or his little heart rate was all over the map. J. had wanted to have no medical interventions but finally asked for an epidural. The baby's heart rate went back to normal right away and the contractions came to a complete stop. From the time she requested the epidural to the time she got it - 15 - 20 min. - she had gone from 5cm. to 8cm. Within 10 min. she was 10 cm. and began pushing - directed by the nurse (who was watching the monitor to see when baby's heart rate dropped to tell when a contraction came). I got to hold her hand and coach her as she pushed gently - easing her baby out just as we had talked about during classes! The doctor was very patient and we all laughed as we watched the baby struggle with hiccups and ease out slowly. J. pushed for 5 contractions in a row and had no tearing. Her son was healthy and strong - pushing away the nurses as they tried to wrap him up.

J's mom had come back in, but was holding up the back wall for us all - well out of the way and not too close! I was very glad that she had arranged for me to be there for them!!!

J. was able to breastfeed without too much trouble and plans on doing it for at least 6 months. She fell in love with her baby right away and it was a true honor to participate in this birth.

Last year I worked with my first VBAC client - Vaginal Birth After Cesarean. The mom had been laboring well with her first child when her husband stepped out for food - when he got back the baby was in distress and they were prepping her for a cesarean. While she felt no trauma over that birth she still felt strongly that her next one was going to be natural, she felt sure her epidural had been the cause of the distress and vowed to avoid that this time.

She contacted me early on about how to get a VBAC in her town. I helped her find a good doctor and make a great birth plan, we talked over all kinds of options in our attempt to find just the right birth environment for her.

Early one morning I got the call and headed up to College Station. When I arrived it was still dark and all the lights were out, I had to feel my way to the couple's bedroom. And there was my inspiration for this blog: the birth dance! My client was so intuitive, so focused and in tune with her body and baby. She was kick counting and slowly dancing by her-self. She would sway for a while, leaning on the bed then she would get up and walk around for a while. She would drop down into a squat for a while and then she would crawl into bed and rest on her side...it was just beautiful to watch and be part of.

As labor intensified she started wanting more help. We began a routine of contraction comes = husband dashes to sit behind wife = wife sits on her knees and leans way back arching her back and looking at me as I breathe with her and hold her hands or rub her belly. This went on for several hours. In the early afternoon things got more intense and the momma went for a shower. Labor slowed a little but it became more intense when it picked up. She added to her routine a soft song of praise...along with her swaying motions!

The couple decided they were ready to go to the hospital. A baby sitter was called for their other child and we headed to the hospital.

In the hospital the mom was put on a monitor and an IV drip - but she was free to move around and she did. She used the birth ball and continued her very intuitive birth dance. But she also really seemed to like that one position still - leaning way back and having me close to her face. She was at 5cm. when we arrived at the hospital and a few hours later she was pushing.

As her baby was crowning it became obvious that he was "sunny-side up" and he seemed to be a little bit stuck or wedged. She started saying she had to have another cesarean and I (and the doctor and nurses) kept encouraging her that she could do this even though it wasn't going how she had expected. She finally got over the hurtle of non-belief and began to really push hard - we used a sheet and she squatted on the bed and pulled on it at one end while her husband pulled on the other end. I stayed by her side and talked her through it. At one point the baby's heart rate started to drop and there was even more pressure to get him out quickly...she had pushed for nearly 3 hours!!! 

Due to the extreme exhaustion from pushing for so long she decided to have vacuum extraction- which helped just enough for her to be able to have the birth she wanted - a VBAC!!! We all cried - and some of the nurses had even stayed late to be there for the birth - everyone was so happy she had gotten her wish.  After the birth she kept thanking me and saying, "I did it, I can't believe I did it, I couln't have done that without your help!!!"  Before I left she was talking about how to do the next birth.

See her letter to me on the Client Letter Page!!!

Having doula care does not guarantee the birth outcome you want, but it does greatly increase your chances!

Not too long ago I attended a birth that actually had too many helpers.  The mom wanted her \mother and father, her sisters, sisters-in-law, best friend, other best friend, doula, midwife, midwife's two assistants, a photographer, and her husband!!!   Don't forget their daughter and a couple of cats!!!

I had done a Childbirth class for this couple and they seemed eager to experience the birth of their next child.  As often happens, Dad called me early in the morning with a little bit of panic in his voice.  I hurried off to their home.  Her parents were already there when I arrived.  And as the morning moved on more and more people arrived.  Soon her couches were full, her bedroom was cramped and some where even standing around the kitchen and bathroom.

In labor a mom needs to be able to devote total devotion to her own body's needs...talking and listening to friends takes a back burner as labor progresses.  But this mom had no peace.  Everyone  was trying to be helpful, but when you have 12 people in your bedroom and they are all whispering...it is still a lot of noise! 

The real beauty in all of this was the father, her husband!  This man watched her and talked to her through the whole labor...he created the perfect labor environment for her.  He stroked her face and whispered to her...he kept her strong and focused all the time.  My job as doula became encouraging and helping him...and that is the way it should be.  As he gained confidence he took more and more of an active role in the labor (just as we had talked about during our class).  He and I worked as a team with her - as the family, friends and even midwife tried to give her the space she needed and the quiet she wanted.  We did have to kick the cats out a couple of times though! 

She labored on the birth ball, in bed, leaning on the counter, walking up the stairs, swaying and standing...til finally, it was time to push!!!  Before I knew what had happend the room was full of by-standers...a photographer, a video camera, everyone trying to tell her to "PUSH".  Imagine the shock when she stopped needing to push...the urge was gone.  This happend a few times.  She would be ready, the crowed would come in, labor would slow down. 

Eventually the midwife actually locked the door to keep out several extras and our Momma was able to do the job of birthing her baby boy!!! 

As frustrating as this labor process was for me and the midwife and her assistant...our Momma was thrilled with the whole thing!  It was just the birth she wanted...9 hours of being doted on by everyone that loved her.  My feeling is that she might have had 5-7 hours of labor had it been just her husband, me and the midwife...but a healthy baby was born anyway!

I hadn't been a doula too long when I attended this birth.  The couple were fairly young and the mom really wanted a totally intervention free birth.  I helped her find the right doctor and hospital for the job and we began making the birth plan.  Her husband was very supportive, but nervous (as most dads are).  I did a Childbirth Class for them and the doctor was completely supportive of her birth plan. 

On the day she went into labor she had already had 2 sleepless nights of labor that stopped with the morning.  She continued to work during the day and was completely exhausted by the 3rd day of it.  She came to my house for a while and I quickly realized that she was in labor but wasn't recognizing it herself.  I helped her with some last minute erronds and gave her a good massage.  She fell asleep on my couch and when she woke up labor was in full swing.

After nearly 10 hours of laboring at home we went to the hospital.  They put her on a monitor for about 20 min. and then she was free to walk and stand as needed.  She wanted to be on her feet as much as possible and kept telling me that her bottom hurt very bad.  So, she walked in the room and often leaned on me or her husband for support during a contraction.  They put in a hep. lock but no IV.  The nurses were very excited to have a mother with a doula and a good birth plan. 

We labored together through the night.   At about 4am she started to feel an urge to push.  They called to doctor and she came.  My client pushed for a very long time.  She changed positions during this stage, but nothing seemed to work quite right.  She wasn't at all comfortable and started saying that the baby was stuck. 

Just then the doctor told her that she could do this, that her baby was fine and it was time to do the first of many major sacrifices for this child.  They were just the right words!  The mom renewed her energy and pushed for all she had...and her baby was finally out!  As this baby crowed we could see why the mom was saying her bottom hurt and why the pushing had been such a hard thing (3 hours worth).  The baby had an arm up by the face...and this mom had to push a head and arm out together...much more challenging than your average birth!

After so much hard work this mom was too tired to hold her baby.  When they brought the little bundle in the mom asked me to hold Baby for her.  I picked up the baby and had that first eye contact and staring for just a moment, when that child heard Momma's voice...I didn't exist any more.  All that baby's attention was across the room where Momma was!  I took Baby and held her right next to Momma, just where she would be holding if she were strong enough.  They stared long and hard at eachother.

The nurses were thrilled to get to see an intervention free labor and birth...are rare treat in the hospital!  They were very supportive and encouraging!

2 weeks later I went for my usual post partum visit.  Momma and Baby were doing wonderfully!!!  And when I walked in the door that little person obviously recognized my voice!  The little face grew bright and alert, and a the little head started moving all over too see me.  The mom said her baby hadn't done that for anyone yet.  And we decided she must have recongnized my voice from all the hours of labor before the birth and from being held by me during those precious bonding moments after birth.

I got to hold that baby one last time and it was good bye...but I will never forget the Baby who knew my voice.

The first birth I ever went to was a home birth in a very small apartment.  The couple was very young and during most of the labor the dad slept.  While the mom was in the bathroom and on the toilet, the dad slept sitting on the floor, leaned against the cabnets.  In the bath later, she was having more trouble and I went in to check on her...found dad asleep on the floor...holding her hand and slirring "good job Honey!". 

Finally, the mom needed some rest and wanted to just try sleeping for a little while.  They went to bed and the midwife and I went to the living room to rest.  Moments later I could hear her trying to muffle moans.  I got up and peeked in the room...he was asleep in a small bed, right next to her and she tried to not wake him...but she was getting louder and louder.

I went in and worked with the mom alone while he got his much needed rest.  She sat on the birth ball and I massaged her back, we went to the living room and I sat facing her while she leaned over the side of the couch.  We went back to the bed room and she sat on the birth ball more, all night.

In the morning when she was ready to push - we woke up dad.  "Wake up!!! She's about to push, your baby is coming!!!"  He sat up and patted her hand - "good job Honey!"

An hour later their first child was born and he was outside yelling to the neighbors that he was a father!!!  Tears and hugs for all!